The Trip Fro Hell

It all started yesterday at 7:00am, that's when I got up. The day was a good one, full of sunshine, friends and food. I got to see Peter who just came back from Britian, and the cast of the usual suspects. At 11:00pm I was ready for the Red Line and Union Station. I made it there by midnight and the freaks were already out. I had decided to take the 4:00am bus to Bakersfield because that would put me in Truckee no later than 4:00pm. The bus trip to Bakersfield was standard and we actually arrived fifteen minutes early. Got on the train and settled in for the ride. No "Lucky Charm" Amish dudes this time, but enough freaks to keep me looking. Then it happened, a farmer outside Merced tried to beat the train in front of us through the crossing, and he and his melons were juiced. That held up my train for 2 1/2 hours, putting the next connection into question. After they scrapped him up,we took off, only to be held up by every south bound train. Finally after the longest 3 1/2 hours of my life we made it to Sacremento where I had to get another bus to Truckee. Then we had to wait for passengers from another train that got held up because of bad signals. When I finally made it to Truckee there was a 4 miles traffic jam because of construction. If I had a big fatty I would annilate it. I've been up for 39 hours and need some sleep, but I'm not sleepy. I need a good woman.